My Neighbor’s Grass is Greener

There is this saying that “My neighbor’s grass is always greener”. It is all about desire, desire to have something that you don’t have yet. The problem with desire is that it never stops. You want something that you see today and you fight for it, you struggle for it, until you have it and once you have it, desire strikes again for something that your “neighbor” just got. Desire is the root of unhappiness. How do you stop desire? You can’t actually. Trying to deny it, to repress it, it will make it even higher. Look at children. Try to tell your child not do something. He will start crying and he won’t accept anything else. He will wait until you will not be around, and still do what you told him not to do. Repression is not the solution. Repression creates something more dangerous – the obsession. The solution is to understand the futility of desire. Just watch your desire getting born, getting higher. Just watch yourself trying to accomplish the desire, and at the moment when desire is accomplished, contemplate carefully that moment, and say “Now what?” You will see that there is nothing there. You didn’t realize anything. Your mind will instantly pick something else for you to urge for having. The desire will never stop, unless you understand there is no point in it.

Mirage

I like the way the word “mirage” sounds. Mi-raaa-ge… It’s like being in a desert, no food, no water, and you start hallucinating, you start seeing the mirage. You are not dead but you are not alive. You are just in a dream between life and death. Is the world (or what we call “world”) real? Or it is just an illusion, a mirage? Is everything that I see real, or it is just a representation of my mind? If it was real, then why when I see something, I call it beautiful while someone else calls it ugly? Do we live only in illusions? We must be very confused in this case. Is our life just a dream? It happens so many times, that we have a dream in which “real” things happen, it’s a “real” situation happening in our dream. Why not the reverse? Maybe we are now just part of a dream in which “real” things happen. And we are going to, or we are supposed to wake up at one point. Maybe when we hit the end of the road. Or maybe not then. Maybe if you don’t wake up while running on this road, when you hit the end of the road, the dream is restarted. Maybe you don’t look the same in the new version of the dream, but it is still you, running on a similar road, in a similar dream, over and over again. We (or I?!) need to wake up!

Nowhere to go

I have nowhere to go, but in...

The Door to Realization

What is realization? What do I have to do? Why am I here?
Don't tell me that I have to have a family, kids, a good career and die happily when the time comes. No, I feel that there is something beyond that. I feel that there is something around us. But I don't know yet how to get in contact with "IT". It's like this something is watching me all the time, creates challenges for me, laughs at me when I struggle and fail. I don't feel controlled, but I'm feeling myself challenged every day. Maybe it is what other call "God", or maybe it is another dimension, or maybe it is the "Inside". I don't know yet. I'm searching a lot for the door that will reveal "the real" to me. I feel so close to it, many times, but still I couldn't touch it.

Am I the only one like this? Do you feel the same? Or I am just crazy...

New Age Music

In a previous post I was telling you about Mystic Radio (http://rugaciune.blogspot.com/2005/02/music-of-listening.html), my beloved radio with music to "entertain" my soul. Unfortunately, Mystic Radio stopped broadcasting this month. I was so sad, and later I found out that the owner left us for another dimensions. Farewell and thanks for the beautiful music!

Now I'm left with SKY FM (http://www.sky.fm/) that has New Age music streaming at http://www.sky.fm/mp3/newage.pls
It's not the same as Mystic Radio, but it is good food for my heart. Thanks for those putting efforts in providing us the music.

Choice is a burden

My friend said once: "The process is very simple. Meditate, become more aware and then you will see: choices disappear, a choicelessness arises. And it is such a tremendous joy to have a choiceless spontaneity. It is such a freedom. Choice is such a burden."

It is us that create the choices, it is our society and our civilization. And we get overwhelmed by choices. And we forget our inner being, our "simple" inner being, which is the only place where peace can be found.

Take the choices away from me, please. Let me stop for a second. Let me rest in peace... alive.

Finding my balance

I wonder how the little creatures survive in this world. Or maybe it's only the humans that have worries about what is going to happen next...